Happy Mother’s Day - 2022
"I have no greater JOY than to hear that my children are walking in the TRUTH!"
3 John 1:4
Happy Mother's Day... This is such a hard day for so many and for various different reasons. I remember the pain in my heart as I fostered my babies in China and literally MOTHERED them and people making comments like "Oh it's so sad that all those children are Motherless". I didn't know anything else except to "mother" them. I nursed babies that needed attachment (even though I had never birthed a child, much less nursed one). Sleepless nights with sick babies and even the deepest pain of not being able to "save" a child as they died in my arms. Yet, I was not a "mother". Of course, I knew how the Lord saw me and that HE had called me "the mother of many". But for some reason the words spoken over me, by people, just crushed my soul. They brought up such feelings of inadequacy. There were no retreats for foster moms or support groups for people like me, in China. I did know other foster moms but they all had biological children previous to fostering. My pain to be seen as a "mother" just lingered.
After Yamei's greuling adoption I really imagined that my identity in the eyes of others would finally be as a "mother"!!! I was finally "legally" a mom!!!! Even though I had been a momma for years. I didn't realize that being an adoptive momma, to some people, still left something to be desired.
I want to take a moment and acknowledge that there were, and are, SOOOO many people that saw me the way the Lord saw me. Why I let the few who did not control my mind, I have no idea. But anyway, after Yamei's paperwork was ready we planned our trip to the States, just the two of us. I was so excited to have some special time with her before Juli was born. I wanted her to get to meet people and be the center of attention in our "Texas" world. It just so happened to be my favorite "season" of the year, the Montgomery County Fair:-) I was thrilled to take her there and make memories with her. While we were at the fair, I saw so many people I hadn't seen in years. One particular person hugged me and asked about my pregnancy. As she touched my belly she leaned in and said "Aren't you glad to finally have one of your own?" I almost puked. I literally became ill and had to walk away. In front of my daughter she said these things. She didn't really even acknowledge the fact that Yamei was there except to pat my arm and give me the whole "you are so amazing to take in these children". Again...VOMIT IN MY MOUTH!!!! "These children??? You mean the ones God sees as incredibly special and asks us to specifically care for? The Orphans? Or are you speaking about children with different abilities?" My heart was crushed and I was angry. I was brokenhearted for how this person saw my daughter and all of my children. Friends, I have struggled hard to forgive many different people throughout my years but these statements were some of my hardest to heal from. Of course the Lord must want to vomit as well right? I'm sure He was raging up there in heaven!!!! ......Oh wait, he loves this thoughtless woman? He died for her just as he died for me? Does He need my help in the vindication department? Because I really wanted to VIN-DI-CATE!
I had no idea when I answered the call of the Lord that He would allow me to be stretched in the ways He has stretched me. I never knew the depths of the Faith and Grace that was available to us as believers and I certainly didn't even want to know how to forgive in the ways He has asked me to forgive. But, OH MY WORD...this kind of relationship is beyond what I could have imagined. It makes me long for Heaven and Jesus so much more. The pain of being misunderstood reminds me, in the tiniest of ways, what Jesus must have felt like when He walked on this earth, FULLY GOD and FULLY MAN!!!! I can't even imagine the pain and frustration He must have experienced to know and understand all that He did and does while people were rejecting Him. Repeatedly telling Him He wasn't who He said He was and then ending His life on earth on a cross with robbers and murderers. Complete humiliation, for ME!!! HE died for ME!!! ME, the one who holds anger and bitterness in her heart and justifies it with "They don't deserve to be treated like this!!" Do I not trust that My Lord, Jesus Christ has the perfect justification plan? Am I wasting away my hours giving in to the temptation of the enemy for a cause that's not mine to fight? I want to be in the Spirit, walking in the Spirit and not the flesh (that's basically a death trap). Romans 8:5 says "For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. 6 For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."
This Mother's Day season I'm choosing to set my mind on things of the spirit! Will you join me? I am so thrilled to share that just a few weeks ago my little Shan (3 years old) asked Jesus into his heart!!! It was one of the most precious moments. Yamei, Juli and Shan have now each committed their lives to Christ. My prayer for each of my children is that they understand the love and forgiveness that can only come from the ONE true Father who gives good gifts to His children. He gave the BEST gift of eternal life with Him. I'd love to hear your stories of Gratefulness!!! Please write and share what you are grateful for in this season of Mothering. Please know you are seen for who God has called you to be and any outward circumstances can not be used against HIS call on your life!!! That is the name HE calls you and it can not be removed by anyone other than HIM!!! Choose Joy on your Journey today friends!!! Walk in the Spirit and He will lead you to Peace!!